Tin Universe Daily #18
Love,
I
think I have been gasping for air since this morning. I’m sorry. So fucking
sorry. I’m a blithering idiot. I was such a total fucking bitch this morning.
I’m crying right now… I am so upset with myself.
God
this is so hard to write. Maybe I just need to close my eyes right now and just
type and hope the words I wish to say just float out. The whole day yesterday
all I was thinking about was getting online with you and talking to you. And
then once I did… I can’t even explain myself and why I acted the way I did.
It
isn’t fair to you. It isn’t fair to drag you into this drama I created.
I
pull you towards me and then I push you away. Makes a whole lot of sense
doesn’t it? Not! It just comes down to the fact that I don’t like people
getting close to me. I’m really weird that way.
I
don’t know what to do about all of this. I wonder what it would be like to be
with you openly. I wonder what it would be like to feel you close to me when
others are around. I wonder what it would be like to gaze into your eyes while
eating in a restaurant. I wonder what it would be like to fuck with people with
too much PDA.
I
wonder if this is truly meant to be. I wonder if we are meant to be a couple in
the way others are. But I’m scared. I didn't think I had this much fear in me
anymore but I do.
I
want to fall into you. I want to feel your warm waters surrounding me. I want
to dive deep down within you. I want to know your secrets and let you know all
of mine.
I’m
not sure what else to say… other than I’m sorry. Right now it’s all I can
really say.
Sitting
here in complete darkness save for the light that is trying to peer in on me
through the windows.
Lisa
(c)System * Publishing
brian c.williams
brian c.williams
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