Tin Universe Daily #10
Love,
I’m
sitting here waiting for 6:30 to arrive so I can go to my concert tonight. I’m
excited. It’s been a long, tiring day and I wish to sleep. I didn’t go to sleep
until almost 5:30 this morning and I was back up at 7:15… I had hoped for a nap
but I had to get online for a while and goof around.
I
have music playing in the background… and wonder what you are doing as I typed
this with closed eyes.
I
guess my heart dropped as I saw you disappear from Facebook messaging. I always
panic when that happens but then I have to start looking at myself and how
often when I get scared or frightened or silent or tired and then I don’t want
to deal with anything and it becomes just so easily press disconnect.
It’s
not very fair to anybody I’m chatting with but there in lies my problem. One of
my friends from work who really knows the situation between us asked me, “Well,
what are you going to do when you can’t press disconnect” And well, she had a
point. I just looked at her and honestly said “I don’t know” She gives me
things to think about sometimes.
What
happens if one of us gets too scared? Just stare blankly at you and be silent.
The relationships of the past have formed the way I am today I’m afraid. Maybe
you and only you have the key to unlock this mind so I feel free enough to be
everything to you.
Sometimes
I just sit here and wonder why you tolerate so much from me… you don’t ever
seem scared or angry… just accepting of who I am… and very gentle. I think that
scares me a lot. Because I sometimes wonder if I’m playing games again… like I
have done before… and you don’t play back… I guess I need to clarify this a
little… sometimes the stuff I write online on Facebook… sometimes the stuff I
write I think would or could make you jealous or angry or something… and all
you do is seem amused… so here I think… “Lisa, what are you doing?” And I
wonder and then think some more and have to admit if you were doing the
flirting that I have been doing on Facebook… I don’t think I would like it very
much. In fact, I’d probably be seeing red.
Lisa
(c)System * Publishing
brian c.williams
brian c.williams
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