#276
Splendor Of The Precious Jade
BREAKING NEWS: Politicians says donating to political
parties is more important than three meals a day for the benefit of the nation
as a whole…
BREAKING NEWS: Indiana representative pushes for Beyond
Human discussion gag law that would make it illegal for students or teachers to
discuss Beyond Human rights in classrooms. Experts say the law is so vague in
its wording that students and teachers who signed on might be held by its rules
for the rest of their lives even after they have left the schools they were
attending and working at...
BREAKING NEWS: The “renegade” scientific think tank group
Mentally holds a press conference through their internet video channel that
there is a great deal of signs in nature which are pointing to something that
is stirring up the soup of creation…
BREAKING NEWS: Uruguay government says they have found the
bones of the first human being and it will give their people the power to rise
up to the level of the most powerful nations on the planet. In other news
Uruguay have also set a course to legalizing marijuana. And in after thought
news many wonder what they are smoking…
It’s stupid when I’m sitting here writing something to start
a vignette with in an attempt to make it stretch into a short story. That’s the
laziest of writing and so shameful I’m going to go eat something terrible for
my body just to punish myself.
Speaking of that shame writing something. Something like the
rudeness of someone picking a fight with you in a bar to test and see what the
rest of your gang might do. Not that I have a gang or part of a gang or even
have enough friends for a threesome… how did we get onto threesomes?
You have such a dirty mind you people.
Writing something like how I never got to go to see the
local roller derby team and discuss how I think it was actually invented by
Aztecs; which could lead to a few paragraphs, but padding a story never gets a
writer anywhere, it never does anyone any good, and it in the end is best just
to get on with things as it unfolds naturally.
Something like those paragraphs never happens to good
writers.
Something that did happen but shifting a little to the side:
The old Gods did leave the Earth for a destination of The Edge Of The Universe
to wait for humanity to die out.
Well, one group stayed at reduced powers and another went to
sleep. This all happen a while back but most of the Gods covered in Mythology
classes are no longer around.
Yes, including the guy with a hate on for nails and crosses.
Something that did not happen: The Mayan End Of The World
Prediction. We didn’t even get any good end of the world movies out of it.
Nothing but crap shit and once again I had something else take spotlight away
from my birthday. Isn’t it enough that wanker Jesus has done it every year
since my year one.
Something that almost never happens is Pulpy, the most
powerful being on the planet, flying through the sky and being suddenly knocked
out of said sky like a lucky God finger had flicked a fly.
Something that in normal circumstances looked like a rather
graceful image. That something being Pulpy flying. But the sight of what just
happen had to be pretty unusual to see if a person who been looking up at the
sky at that point of sight, at that point of time, had seens it.
Something unusual in his everyday nature, no matter how long
he has been flying through the skies of our world is a man, six feet in height,
though when flying it’s more in length. A man with hair that flows behind him
and when standing it sits on his shoulders with an end tip touch. It’s actually
a very 1980’s haircut. His uniform covers almost his whole body in a one-piece
body suit except for his hands, thighs down, and his head. The remaining bits
of the uniform is made up of boots that are further than dull and a cape
connected to his uniform by shoulder pads attached to each shoulder. The
uniform is also decorated in what looks like metal stars the size of a normal man’s
palm but are actually a great deal more than just decoration and are in fact
control discs that enhance and grant him most of his abilities.
With all of that this standout figure has a tattoo which
looks like a lightning bolt that goes from his forehead, down over his right
eye, and stops at his chin. Many think that tattoo is just a tattoo but it’s
actually a rank, and not really a lightning bolt but instead a stripe of honor
and a symbol of his true name.
Something knocked Pulpy out of the sky and sent him tumbling
in the air for miles. It really isn’t that easy to catch him off guard
considering one of those discs I spoke of before enhances all of his senses to
a superh… Beyond Human level. Plus, all of his movements are tracked by a radar
unit that is part of Operation Pulpy, which is basically another branch of the
U.S. military.
Something like two
minutes passed during those miles were he was actually unconscious; which is
really saying something hit him really hard.
To catch him off guard, that’s an accomplishment that many
haven’t been able to do, knocking him unconscious even for a few minutes, this
means you are something beyond the normal that he has encountered.
Wonder if I can start every paragraph in this story with
“Something?”
Ooops, cocked that up in rewrites.
Pulpy was on his way to Mexico when he was attacked. He
always liked the times he had spent in Mexico that didn’t involve him punching
something or being a tool of intimidation.
To him he has never quite understood the hostility between
United States towards Mexico. Even historically it really doesn’t make any
sense. America has always set itself up as a people of the soil, a hard working
nation, but if you look those same ways of thinking could also be applied to
Mexico.
But with relations between the U.S. and Mexico at its most
hostile status Pulpy had not found the chance to visit it in a long time.
As far as Pulpy taking part in the affairs of the Mexican
government, he doesn’t, most of the time they act like they don’t want him
involved in their affairs. Well, that’s until there’s a Beyond Human wreaking
havoc or to clean up after a really big ass global warming storm.
The Mexican government in this circumstance asked the United
States if Pulpy could help with a cruise ship collision that’s happen right off
the coast and because their government is collapsing they didn’t have one ship
or plane that could have come close to handling the situation.
Not the first time a Mexican cruise ship has made the news
of late and will not be the last since a company in the country bought a number
of no longer being used cruise ships out of Florida and gave them a new paint
job and sent them out. Since then it has been one bad story after another.
The first one was the “shit ship” as a lot of headlines came
to address it as. 1,200 people trapped on a ship, that to begin with didn’t
stock enough food for its four-day voyage, and after two days out at sea the
engines cut out shutting down every function of the ship such as running water,
running electricity, and running toilets.
Take a cruise, the adventure might be in how you find a way
of surviving the voyage.
Maybe I’ll write a story based on a cruise ship one day but
I’m still pissed about the crappy cruise we went on, wounds are still too open
to even write something within those thoughts yet.
The second the impact hit Pulpy the first sensory reaction
that his body took in was a slight smell of very old human feces. I’m talking
very old. That scent that has a little smell of cannibalism in it.
Our first reaction to just about any situation is usually
one of odor. Most of the time we don’t notice it but it’s true.
The missile like object which hit him was made of a special
clay mixture and contained a cocktail of ancient drugs, plagues, human
excrement, and Angel spit.
Pulpy finally landed in a crash landing manner, very roughly
near a pond, and his bad day continued to get worse as he noticed right away
that he cracked one of his uniform discs, the one that allowed him breathe in a
vacuum. He still could hold his breath for a good while but a long sustained
campaign was a no go.
He will have to put faith in his team to try and reconstruct
a new disc to replace it but that’s something to worry about later.
He lifted himself up and out of the impression his impact
made in the mud that circled the pond.
You might call that a shoreline but I say beach like area,
what can I say, I’ve lived in Florida for too long.
He just hoped no newspaper cameras or any cell phones with
cameras were around because it is always meme city for months whenever he gets
his uniform messy. People are still sharing that one from California last year
on Facebook. It just won’t go away.
Being the focus of memes and such internet nonsense for
years was never something he cared for but he was unseated from that honor as
most memed by Jennifer Lawrence, Michael Fessbender, and that guy who plays
Loki.
He stopped wiping the mud off his uniform when he noticed it
was unnaturally quite where he had fallen out of the sky. Not just no sounds of
cameras but no sounds of bugs or other nosey noises that show you things are
alive around you.
You might stand somewhere and think there are is no sound
but when Pulpy is standing around and there are no sounds whatsoever it’s not a
good thing.
No tree branches brisling in the wind, no sounds of pond
waves, and no sound of anything that is normal for a man who has heightened
hearing to notice.
Like I said, when he isn’t hearing anything it means
something is very wrong.
The silence was starting to unnerve him a bit, a shock to
the system, like you waking up in the morning all of a sudden with no hearing
at all and no sight and no sense of smell. Imagine that and you could start to
try to know why he is unnerved.
Then there came sound once again into his hearing at first
as a low decimal buzz and then slowly other natural things kicked back in like
a formerly stopped soundtrack.
Catching his eyes, and taking his attention away from the
newly restarted soundtrack, was the sight of many breeds of birds circling
above his head. Way above his head, not just barely above like in an old school
cartoon…. Never mind.
Before he could get his bearings about anything, including
the unusual variety of gathering bird species, one of the many discs on his
uniform and implanted within his body, one of the ones still working, was
telling him his body was under attack by an unknown substance on a cellarer
level.
There were hardly any viruses or germs or the like on Earth
that affected him in any way. The guy eats uncured sushi beef for God’s sake;
so this again was something else to take a piss on his normal state of things.
His focus on that bit of information was interrupted as he
looked down at his feet to find them covered in snakes. That most defiantly was
starting to feel like someone was testing him to see what things would maybe
fuck with his mind.
That or the snakes was part of him being trapped in a cheap
1970’s horror film.
But the snakes weren’t from a horror film and he like Eve
wasn’t afraid of snakes mainly because their bites couldn’t break through his
uniform more less his skin.
Eve is just a badass in general.
But the sight was of these snakes was creepy so he moved
away from them and ended up backing into an eight-foot-tall bust statue of an
old king.
Pulpy turned around when it started talking.
And thusly the weird continued.
‘This planet shouldn’t be any of your concern, you weren’t
even born here,’ Big King Head Thingee spoke with a boom.
‘Were you the one who attacked me?’ Pulpy asked the unique
sight speaking to him.
The head started hopping around in a weird route to the pond
in a circling path, ‘That would be the Eagle Knights. They are our pantheons
warriors.’
‘Pantheon, as in Gods?’ Pulpy inquired.
‘God is a varied term. There are a small growing group of
humans who have taken to worshipping you.’
‘Misguided people.’
‘Some would say that is true of all people of any faith.’
‘I wouldn’t.’ Pulpy stated.
‘Good public relations answer.’
Pulpy ignored him as you really should a smart ass hopping
giant king statue head.
‘Where can I find these Eagle Knights?’ Pulpy asked.
‘Not yet but soon enough as they are testing for the coming
war.’
‘What? Just to warn you I hate riddles.’ Pulpy said as he
was starting to anger.
‘There are no riddles in war.’
‘What war?’
‘They are coming back from a sleep to claim all the lands
they have touched. I think you call them Mexico and South America. But don’t
hold me to those lands, they didn’t have maps in my day.’
The head hopped into the pond while shouting something about
returning the Earth to the clams.
As the head turned over and sank Pulpy was attacked by
several Were-Jaguars, the name is a self-description description. Their
fierceness was all up to your imagination.
I think they’re from Olmec Mythology.
That or from a bad dream after too much cake.
Every time Pulpy threw one of them off another one recovered
and attacked again. The Were-Jaguars were quick and a pain in the ass to fight,
and not just because of the smell that was like spoiled milk and the cackling
growl, it was also because they were as mean as shit.
Were-Jaguars are as mean as shit. You should note that for
future reference.
If it wasn’t out there in bold clear letters a Were-Jaguar
was like a mixture of a wolf and a jaguar. Again those two are in the name but
you can also mix in a little diseased pit fighting vulture. They sense when a
strong enemy is at a weak point ready to be attacked. They get that from the
little bit of vulture in their blood.
The attack from the Were-Jaguars stopped when a giant snake
came up from under Pulpy’s feet and slowly started to swallow him, the snakes
tongue wrapped around him keeping him from struggling away.
After the snake finished swallowing him and went back into
the ground a man appeared in body armor and a big bird helmet.
Not that Big Bird, an in general big bird.
Pulpy blacked out for a length of time and forgot where he
was and started thinking about the sword, his honor sword that had been missing
ever since he first arrived on Earth.
A little voice, that of a child with an Irish accent, for
some reason it had an Irish accent, whispered in his ears that he would find
his sword one day, soon, but after he found it he would lose his honor.
When he came back from the whispers he was choking on his
own saliva. The sensors built within his uniform kept telling him he was
nowhere or maybe within a dwarf star. The sensors were confused.
The discs under his skin and on his uniform weren’t giving
back much information at all but the translated gibberish of X’s and O’s were
something like “This is fucked up.”
His eyes and ears were burning with the words of the undead.
Every memory of death, every touch of killing from a flower to a human being to
a member of his own race was being passed through his mind at a slow frame rate
to make sure he didn’t miss the most painful parts.
He pushed out against the breathing flesh and once he got
his arms in front of the rest of his body he started grabbing flesh and organs
and pulling himself deeper and deeper into the snake’s insides.
It’s something he can only do once a day but this was a good
time for something you can only do once a day so he used energy beams from his
eyes to burn an opening into some flesh.
He climbed through the opening and found himself up against
an egg, within a womb, and then after continuing the journey he was back inside
another part of the snake’s belly where he finally found the anus and
maneuvered himself out to find that he was now inside a chamber somewhere that
was decorated with torches and skulls.
The chamber gave his whole body the feeling like the instant
of being shocked after dragging your socked feet across the carpet.
The snake slithered off into a dark doorway after giving
Pulpy a very pissed off look. Understandable, it may have tried to eat you but
was burning a hole in its womb wall really a very a nice thing to do?
Pulpy was preoccupied trying to concentrate his body into
pushing out the toxins that were messing with his mind. He had to risk maybe
being caught off guard again to try to get a handle of what was happening to
him.
As the snake left, through another doorway came hundreds of
child sized skeletons holding knifes and giving out a creepy bone on bone
rattling sound.
They attacked Pulpy taking him out of his concentrated
state. Every time he hit one of them they screamed in pain and he felt their
moment of death as if it was his own. This kept happening until he collapsed
from psychic shared existences attacking him.
Feeling others pain isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Neither is being knocked out of the sky, being lectured by a
hopping giant head, being attacked by Were-Jaguars, and being eaten by a giant
snake.
Oh, forgot the kid’s skeletons.
Pulpy woke up on a random road in Mexico feeling like he was
having the worst drug hangover ever. A feeling no one still living had ever
felt the morning after really getting fucked up. Not that he knew what that
hangover feeling was, his body didn’t allow him to get drunk or high but if he
could this is the feeling if he was really fucked up from a seven-day drunk
night or OD party.
His discs weren’t working at all and his uniform sensors
were being very whinny; so he set about walking until they clicked back online.
It’s sort of like pushing your truck to try and kickstart it.
Later when Pulpy got back in control of his discs and met up
with some of his handlers at a nearby United States military base just over the
border from Mexico.
‘So do you consider this a real threat?’ asked one of the
handlers after Pulpy explained what he had experienced.
‘I believe a plan of watching and preparation is needed.’
‘Noted. We will assign more eyes to watching Mexico.’
As he was leaving the room Pulpy staggered a bit. Something
that no one in this room had ever seen from him.
‘Maybe you should see one of our doctors?’
‘I’m fine, it’s all in my report. My medical disc will adapt
from the information acquired and keep it from happening again. They won’t be
able to attack me the same way.’
Riding up in an elevator from the underground meeting area
he couldn’t help but wonder the words that had been spoken to him. So many
ancient voices have spoken of what the future holds for him and humanity. He’s
a soldier, he will be prepared. He is a warrior; he is always ready for a war.
Once he reached the surface as the elevator emptied out into
a storage shed; which he walked from, he stood for a minute before launching
himself up into the air back towards Mexico and back to the task of trying to
save lives
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spray out anyways. If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be
aware that it was reported to the publisher as “unsold and destroyed.” Hands up
to you who have books like this in your collection? Now that I put my hand down
we can continue with the credits and copyright and legal and stuff that people
just don’t ever pay attention to unless it is pumping their own horn.
An Original Publication of System* Publishing,
a Tin Universe book published by System*Publishing, a
division of System*Productions, Melbourne, Florida. This book is a
work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the
author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events
or locales or persons, living or dead or living dead, is entirely and very much
so in the coincidental.
Smashwords Edition Copyright © 2015, Brian
C. Williams, System*Productions. Tin Universe Daily, and
all related titles, characters, and elements are trademarks of System*Productions.
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions
thereof in any form whatsoever. While unauthorized reproduction is sometimes
needed, please remember us writers types are for the most part a poor lot just
in search of a ways to tell our stories and enough money to add to our Doctor
Who collections….well, at least that fits me. For more information on Tin Universe Daily, the artists who
contributed to this book, and Tin Universe contact System*Productions at
hangofwednesday@gmail.com
Written by Brian C. Williams
Edited by Brian
C. Williams
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